This week started out much like every other week for the past month. Then I got some distressing news. One of my husband's cousins' little boy had a severe brain hemorrhage in the early morning on Monday and has been struggling for life ever since. Now he is struggling for consciousness and to regain some of his faculties. The details are depressing and even a little hopeless, but the best news of all is that he is making some small signs of progress. He is only partially ventilated now, and his eyes are finally responsive to light. It will probably be a long road back and it is still very critical. Only God knows how long this struggle will continue for him. Please, if you're reading this and you believe in God or the Universe or whatever, think positive thoughts and pray for Ethan.
In the midst of this family crisis I have found a new realization about myself. I'm not hopeless. I'm not desperate. I'm just me. I'm happy to be who I am and to be where I am, even though sometimes I'd rather be some place else. I look at my face in the mirror and I realize that I don't have to be perfect or airbrushed to be beautiful. My soul is good. My heart is kind and those two things are more than any makeup or shadow could give me.
I have a dear friend who has a web site and a photography business. She posted something today about how being in the middle of the journey is "the good part." Once you're over the hump, the battle is done, you're happy, but the struggle was what was fun. The journey made life interesting and enjoyable, so enjoy it now while you're in it. Thanks Jen for posting your insights. They really inspired me today. Check out her page at http://jenikaslens.com/. Hopefully that link works and hopefully you are all as impressed with her photos and personality as I am. Often times I wonder how we ever got to be friends. She is like a four course meal at a five star restaurant and I'm like home-made chicken pot pie. Both are delicious and satisfying, but one is a little rough around the edges and sloppy to eat. Maybe that's a bad analogy, but you get the idea. When we were kids we wrote down our goals and dreams and read them to each other. She has done everything on her list and then some. I have only accomplished two. Now, don't get me wrong, my two are pretty fabulous. I wanted to get married to a wonderful man in an LDS Temple, which I did, and I wanted to have a family, which I have. My husband is amazing and so much better than I deserve. My kids are so fun and loving and creative and I'm glad they're here. And truthfully, I wouldn't go back and do anything differently. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I don't know why I couldn't check off everything on my list, but it doesn't matter. I'm a good person and I have friends and family who love me. My greatest wishes have come true and then some. Jen, if you're reading this, thanks for having adventures for the both of us. One day I'll get to go to Scotland, or maybe take that trip to Greece. Until then, my friend, I'll be chillin' with my kiddos and cherishing every minute.
P.S. It's my husband's birthday. Happy Birthday, my love!
P.P.S. My sister is selling Mary Kay and I built her a web site with an easy web site creator. Check it out and tell me what you think. You could make my sister happy if you clicked on the link to order some product, but no pressure! here's the address: www.annamaryk.weebly.com