It's only 1:30pm when I'm starting this entry and already I feel worn ragged. My son woke up around 4-4:30 this morning and didn't go back to sleep. I slept poorly from then until 6 when little sis woke up and was instantly mad, hungry and still tired. After feeding her, I got out my son. Changed diapers, fed my boy and put on a movie hoping to catch a morning nap on the couch. Little sis decided she wanted to be held... all day. She has refused her naps, her toys, her swing and all other things which usually bring her joy including tickling and playing games with me or Daddy. Big brother is driving both of his parents crazy today. Tantrums are worse than they have been in a while due to our losing both chewy tubes. They're somewhere around the house, we just don't know where. Days like today make me want to scream, cry, holler and give up all at the same time. This is when I count the hours until bedtime when I might get at least a few moments peace.
Well, it only took me all day to be able to finish this post. That tells you what kind of day we've had at my house. Sis wouldn't take a nap, so we resorted to taking a 2-hour drive. She slept the whole time and still went to bed before 8pm. That is a small victory, but any victory is welcome in our house.
My son enjoyed the ride too and was in a better mood all evening because of it. It makes me very grateful for cars and road noise.
There were so many other things I was going to write about in this post, but since I started it so long ago, I can't remember any of them. Suffice it to say that today started out very bad, and ended up better than I could have hoped.
My son (little D - I almost never call him this and I feel a little embarrassed that I do at all because I made a big deal when he was a baby about what his name was and adamantly prohibited any unapproved nick names. Oh well.) has another Early Intervention appointment on Tuesday next week and I'm planning to bring up a few new concerns. He has gotten better with eating and now eats a more normal amount with every meal, but he also has developed what I consider an unhealthy aversion to all foods except cereal, fruit snacks and chicken nuggets. I just can't help but wonder if this is related to his chew toys since before he had them he would try new foods more readily. Not that he was always excited to try new foods. Often it would take 2 or 3 times of trying the same food over a stretch of several weeks before he would be willing to take more than 1 bite. Now he is asking for chicken nuggets with ketchup and eats the ketchup with a fork like it's a side dish. Mmmm..... ha ha! I don't mind ketchup. In fact I almost can't eat french fries without it. When I was a kid, ketchup was my preferred condiment as a child. I put it on sandwiches, fries, meat loaf, almost any casserole and it was the only thing I would take on my hot dog. As I look back on my childhood I have memories of behaviors that mirror little D. I have fears that such a simple thing, like being behind on his speech, will turn into a scary diagnosis like Asperger's. I wonder at times if I am normal for hoping to find that it is something, anything else. That sounds bad and I am half considering deleting that. After all, I don't know how much I really want to reveal of my inner thoughts, which sometimes shock even me. My husband likes to remind me that what I think and feel is normal, but that doesn't always excuse me from thinking it. I know he's right, but I'm not sure to what extent I can accept my feelings when they are what they are.
Speaking of my husband, after reading last night's post, he suggested I add some humor to the blog. He told me it was kind of serious, which, to be honest is what I prefer. I am a pretty serious person, and it's not like this blog details sunshine and roses. But, I am going to try to add a few humorous experiences with my kids mingled in with the seriousness. I do believe that laughter is the best medicine, so I think it's a good idea.
So, in that spirit I will share a story from my son, little D. Every night we cap off our pre-bedtime routine by reading scriptures and saying family prayers. We are religious, as you can tell, and I truly feel that is one of the reasons I haven't run off already, tail between my legs, screaming like a banshee. I hope that's not too evil to say, it's just the truth, and I'm trying to be honest and truthful in my posts, so... Anyway, during prayers little D loves to fold his hands and used to try and listen to what we were saying. We try to keep it simple and short so he doesn't have too much opportunity to disrupt the spirit of the thing. Lately though he has taken to a new game during the prayer. As soon as we start praying and our eyes are closed he climbs onto the lap of the parent saying the prayer and stares into their face closer and closer until we start laughing, which is inevitable when you can feel a toddler staring you down and feel his breath on your chin. So we all laugh and try to reverently and quickly end the prayer before we really let it out. He thinks this is great fun and I don't see it ending any time soon. We'll have to try and teach him appropriate prayer behavior when he is older and can understand a little more. For right now, we'll just enjoy our little comedian.